As couples navigate the complexities of retirement, many are finding that increased time spent together can lead to heightened tensions. A recent inquiry highlighted a couple considering a temporary separation in an effort to salvage their marriage amid ongoing conflicts.
According to a survey conducted by Transamerica in December 2025, approximately 17% of retirees reported feelings of isolation and loneliness. While being married can alleviate some of these feelings, the challenge arises when couples struggle with excessive togetherness. For some, this situation has prompted thoughts of taking a break to reset their relationship.
Relationship therapist Dr. Karen Stewart suggests that a short-term separation could be beneficial if approached correctly. She emphasizes the importance of establishing clear boundaries and expectations for the break. “I think a structured break at any time in a marriage could not only save the marriage but could also improve overall wellness and happiness for both individuals,” Stewart explains.
Setting a specific timeframe and determining how frequently the couple will communicate are essential steps. Furthermore, couples should prepare a narrative for friends and family to ensure both partners are on the same page. Addressing financial matters during the break is equally crucial. Stewart advocates for using this time to engage in couples therapy, stating, “Temporary separation does not have to equal divorce, and frankly, can prevent it.”
Another perspective comes from licensed clinical mental health counselor Keisha Saunders-Waldron, who notes the intense proximity retirement can create. “Retirement throws couples into this intense togetherness that they haven’t experienced since maybe early marriage or having young kids at home,” she explains. This shift from independent routines to constant companionship can be overwhelming.
While some couples may think that a physical separation is the only solution, Waldron argues that this approach may not address the underlying issues. Instead, she recommends creating a structured space within the relationship.
A healthy break does not necessitate separation. Waldron suggests establishing individual space and activities, such as hobbies or regular meetups with friends. “If you can, create separate areas where each person can retreat,” she advises. This could mean designating different rooms in the house to allow for personal time.
Additionally, couples should set ground rules regarding how they spend their time together versus alone. It’s not uncommon for retired couples to be physically present yet emotionally disconnected. Committing to meaningful activities can help foster genuine connection.
Waldron echoes Stewart’s sentiment regarding professional help, stating, “A good therapist can help you navigate this transition, teach you communication skills, and figure out if there are deeper issues beyond just too much togetherness.” Seeking professional guidance may be vital before the situation escalates further.
Lastly, both experts encourage couples to reconnect with the reasons they fell in love. Engaging in activities that remind them of their bond—such as going on dates or trying new experiences—can rekindle the spark. “A lot of times, couples get so focused on what’s wrong that they forget to create what’s right,” Waldron notes.
As retirement continues to reshape lives, couples facing challenges have options. Whether through structured breaks, open communication, or professional support, there are pathways to navigate the complexities of shared life in retirement.
