A mother from Texas has expressed her concerns about her 20-year-old son, who lives at home, works full-time, but does not contribute to household expenses. He has moved his girlfriend and a dog into the family home without permission, complicating the living situation further. The mother, who wishes to remain anonymous, is struggling to address her son’s lack of responsibility while managing his anxiety and depression issues, which he attempts to cope with through marijuana use.
Strained Family Dynamics
The situation escalates when the mother tries to discuss her son’s future plans or encourage him to assist with household chores. These conversations often result in heated arguments, with the son reacting violently by punching walls. Concerned for her son’s well-being, the mother is torn between wanting him to live independently and fearing for his safety if he were to move out on his own.
“Do you want your son to continue to live with you in perpetuity and not assume any responsibility for the privilege?” asks Dear Abby, the advice column that has provided guidance for decades. The response emphasizes the importance of setting boundaries and encouraging independence. The column suggests that the son should have saved enough money from his job to consider moving out with his girlfriend and dog. A deadline for this transition may be necessary to foster responsibility.
Additionally, Dear Abby notes that if the son resorts to destructive behavior such as punching walls, it may be prudent for the parents to involve law enforcement to ensure everyone’s safety. The advice column also points out that unless the son has a doctor’s prescription, his use of marijuana for self-medication is illegal in Texas.
Considerations for Future Planning
The column also tackles broader themes, including personal responsibility and planning for the future. Another reader, identified as a millennial, has decided to lead a child-free life due to concerns about rising costs and global issues. She worries about her future care as she ages. Dear Abby reassures her that having children is not a guaranteed safety net for old age. Instead, she should proactively prepare for her future by consulting a financial planner or attorney to secure her assets.
In a separate inquiry, a woman voiced frustration over her husband withholding their tax refund. She noted that she contributes to the household income but receives nothing from the refund. Dear Abby responds that her husband’s refusal to share is selfish and controlling, emphasizing that financial contributions should be acknowledged and shared fairly within a marriage.
These questions highlight the complexities of family dynamics, financial expectations, and personal choices in modern society. As families navigate these challenges, clear communication and boundary-setting become vital components of fostering healthier relationships.
