As Valentine’s Day approaches, many college students are grappling with the challenge of navigating the dating scene. While the holiday often inspires thoughts of romance, students at institutions like the University of California, Davis, report feeling overwhelmed by the well-meaning but often generic advice they receive from friends and family.
Students like Sara Pimenta, a 2025 alumna studying managerial economics, express frustration over the repetitive nature of dating advice. “The dating advice I hear most often from friends and family tends to be pretty repetitive,” she said. “People usually say things like ‘Go out and meet people by doing activities you enjoy,’ or ‘When the timing is right, it will happen.’ While those ideas are well-intentioned, they’re also very general.”
Dating has statistically become more challenging in recent years. According to a study by Pew Research, approximately 50% of adults in the United States believe that dating has become more difficult over the last decade. The modern landscape of romance presents unique hurdles, particularly for specific demographics.
For Erin Burnett, a fourth-year student majoring in neurobiology, physiology, and behavior, the advice often feels less applicable in the queer dating arena. “As a queer person, people say stuff like, ‘Just go up to someone and flirt with them,’” Burnett explained. “It’s not always easy to tell who else is queer, so a lot of heteronormative advice just doesn’t apply.”
Navigating relationships in college can be complex, especially as peers find themselves at different stages of their romantic lives. Aashi Shah, a third-year student in the same field as Burnett, notes how the disparity in relationship experiences can heighten feelings of isolation for those who are single. “We’re in an age group in which a lot of people are in relationships,” Shah said. “The fact that there are so many people in such different stages of relationships kind of causes others who aren’t in relationships to feel like, ‘Oh, everyone has something going on.’”
This pressure can be exacerbated by social media, particularly around Valentine’s Day. Shah pointed out, “Every time it’s National Boyfriend Day, National Girlfriend Day, Valentine’s Day—all of the random days when you are reminded that every single person you know is in a relationship—floods your feed so much that you can’t escape it.”
For some, the heightened emphasis on romantic relationships during this season can lead to feelings of sadness or inadequacy. Psychologists recommend alternative ways to celebrate love during this time. One suggestion is to focus on appreciating non-romantic relationships, which can provide comfort and joy.
Students are encouraged to celebrate Valentine’s Day with friends or family, which can serve as a welcome distraction from the pressure to find romantic love. “Just knowing that you have a lot of people in your corner that love you so much—that might be able to do a lot more for you than a relationship will,” Shah added.
Ultimately, while the quest for romance is a common theme among college students, it’s essential to recognize that relationship status does not define personal worth. As students reflect on their love lives this Valentine’s Day, they may find greater solace in their existing connections, whether romantic or platonic.
