The Santa Clarita Valley Chapter of The Compassionate Friends held its 24th annual Candlelight Remembrance Program on December 14, 2025, at BethlehemSCV in Canyon Country, California. The event honored children, grandchildren, and siblings who passed away too soon, providing a space for families to remember their loved ones during the emotionally charged holiday season.
The evening began with a pathway illuminated by memorial lanterns leading into the church, alongside boards displaying photos of the departed. At 19:00, attendees lit mini candles, creating a wave of light intended to resonate globally. Alice Renolds, one of the event’s leaders, shared her personal journey, reflecting on the loss of her sons, Tim and Danny, in a tragic traffic collision 25 years ago.
A Healing Space for Grieving Families
“I sat there and just cried at the meetings and couldn’t talk, and gradually came out of that shell,” Renolds recalled. “Listening to everyone’s stories became a healing process for me.” She emphasized the significance of gatherings like this for families navigating their grief, particularly during the holidays when feelings of loss can be amplified.
“The holiday season is just one of the hardest times. That grief just comes up, and it’s difficult to deal with,” Renolds explained. “This event provides a space for families to see their child’s face on screen and hear their name.”
Alongside Renolds, Diane Briones welcomed attendees and facilitated the reading of names of lost loved ones throughout the evening. The program featured music, live poetry readings, a candle-lighting ceremony, and a video presentation acknowledging the lives that were lost.
Sharing Stories of Loss and Love
Mary Yancey, a participant who lost her son, Brian DeCaro, nearly four years ago, has attended the remembrance every year since. She participates in monthly meetings, noting that new parents often join the group. “Unfortunately, we get new parents all the time. We try to help them through, especially the first year, because it’s probably the most confusing time,” Yancey said.
Yancey described her son’s unexpected death at the age of 33, attributing it to a series of impulsive decisions related to his struggles with Asperger’s. “He made a bad decision and got involved with something that had fentanyl in it,” she explained. “At that time, I didn’t even know about fentanyl.”
She shared a poignant memory of her son achieving the independence he long sought just before his passing. To honor his memory, Yancey takes weekly hikes using his walking stick, calling it her “Brian time.”
As the event drew to a close, Renolds addressed the audience, reminding them of the profound significance of the candles they held. “We hold these candles in memory of our children, grandchildren, and siblings. This candle says, ‘I love you.’ This candle says, ‘I miss you.’ This candle says, ‘I will remember you,’” she stated.
The Candlelight Remembrance Program not only serves as a memorial but also as a supportive community for those grappling with the profound pain of loss, offering solace and understanding during an often lonely time of year.
