A father’s promise to care for his son has led him to a profound and painful decision: placing his child in a group home. Steve Burcham, a creative director from St. Petersburg, Florida, faced this heartbreaking reality after years of dedicated caregiving for his son, Chris, who is on the autism spectrum.
Burcham’s journey began at the moment of Chris’s birth, which was marked by complications. Chris arrived into the world breech, a sign of the unconventional path they would take together. From the start, Burcham made a vow to himself: “I swore I’d be different. I wouldn’t leave my child the way I’d been left.” He had experienced abandonment as a child and was determined to provide Chris with the stability he lacked.
Chris, who does not speak verbally, communicates through gestures and sounds. A tap on his head indicates a desire to wash his hair, while a steady hum signals contentment. Their bond was built on these silent exchanges, filling their days with love and understanding. Yet, the challenges of raising a child with special needs grew increasingly overwhelming for Burcham, especially when Chris went missing one morning.
After a frantic search, Burcham learned that Chris had wandered off and was found by a passerby who kept him safe until the police arrived. This incident marked a turning point in their lives. Burcham, now a single father, had to juggle his job while ensuring Chris’s safety and needs were met.
As time passed, the couple’s marriage ended, and discussions about a group home began. Medical professionals, including Chris’s long-time physician, emphasized the need for a structured environment that Burcham could not provide alone. The idea weighed heavily on him; he worried about trusting strangers to care for his son while grappling with his own past experiences of abandonment.
On the day they arrived at the group home, Burcham’s anxiety peaked. Parked outside, he felt a wave of emotions wash over him. Chris, however, approached the new environment with surprising calm. He moved through the house, exploring his new room and adjusting the toys and lamp as if he had lived there forever.
When it was time to say goodbye, Burcham struggled to kiss his son. In that moment, he realized the significance of goodbyes in his own childhood, where he was left without explanation or affection. Chris looked at him with understanding, ready for this next step, which was both a relief and a heart-wrenching realization for Burcham.
As he drove away, the father began to understand that placing Chris in the group home was not a failure, but rather a new chapter in their lives. He recognized that the promise he made was not solely about being present but about ensuring Chris received the best care possible.
For the next 30 days, Burcham received updates and photos from the group home, observing Chris engaging with others and participating in activities. Each glimpse reassured him that Chris was thriving. Burcham reflected on the importance of adapting his promise, realizing he had forgotten how to be anything other than a caregiver.
Each morning, he found comfort in the words of Romans 12:12, which became a source of hope for him: “Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.” Burcham understood that “never leaving” Chris sometimes meant having the courage to step back and let him grow.
He continues to visit Chris weekly, sharing meals and taking drives reminiscent of their past adventures. Through these experiences, Burcham has learned that true strength lies not in proximity but in the ability to support Chris’s independence while maintaining a loving connection.
Steve Burcham’s story is a testament to the complexities of parenting, particularly in the context of special needs. He remains committed to his son while embracing the changes that will ultimately benefit both of them.
