Divorce Acknowledgements: New Strategies for Holiday Cards

UPDATE: As the holiday season approaches, individuals navigating divorce are seeking creative ways to acknowledge their new realities in holiday greetings. New strategies and heartfelt suggestions are circulating, offering support and emotional connection during this sensitive time.

In a recent column, advice columnist Eric Thomas addressed a growing concern among readers: how to incorporate divorce news into holiday cards. With the festive season upon us, many are finding themselves in the position of sending greetings while managing the emotional landscape of family changes.

Readers weigh in: One reader suggested using a light-hearted approach with a bulleted list highlighting changes, such as a new name and personal achievements. This method provides clarity without sounding overly formal. “What has changed: My last name is now Smith; I finally got to France; Buffy graduated from cooking school,” they wrote. “What hasn’t changed: Our cat Dave is still with us at 17.” This simple yet effective format can resonate with family and friends, maintaining connections without burdening recipients with heavy news.

Another reader proposed sending a New Year card instead of a Christmas card to soften the messaging. “Why not send a happy New Year/new name card mentioning how amicable the situation is?” they suggested. This approach allows individuals to extend well wishes while subtly informing recipients of their status, making it a thoughtful alternative.

Some have opted for a more candid tone. One participant reflected on their first holiday card post-divorce, stating, “What a doozy of a year. It started with a ‘radical change in our family structure’… followed swiftly by the pandemic.” This authentic sharing fosters understanding and compassion among recipients, emphasizing the importance of being true to oneself.

For those looking to incorporate humor, another reader shared their experience of including their dog in the New Year announcement. “We included a photo of our dog and said that in the new year, he’d be hopping between his dog beds at two houses,” they wrote, showcasing that lightheartedness can ease the tension of delivering significant news.

The emotional impact of these cards cannot be overstated. They serve as a vehicle for healing and community connection, especially in difficult times. As one reader put it, “Authenticity is really important here. Life can be difficult and confusing to navigate; we shouldn’t put on masks of formality,” a sentiment echoed by many navigating divorce.

However, not all relationships are as amicable. A reader expressed concern over their two adult sons who have not sent gifts or reached out over the past 15 years. Eric reassured them, “Gifts aren’t going to get you any closer to resolving what’s going on with your sons.” Instead, focusing on open communication is vital for mending strained relationships.

As families prepare for the holidays in 2023, the conversation surrounding divorce and holiday greetings continues to evolve. This year, individuals are encouraged to embrace authenticity and creativity in their messages, ensuring that they foster connections while being true to their new circumstances.

With the holiday season just around the corner, these strategies for acknowledging divorce in holiday greetings could resonate widely. As families navigate the complexities of change, the heartfelt suggestions from readers highlight a collective desire for connection, understanding, and support.

As the situation develops, readers are encouraged to share their experiences and insights on this topic, fostering a community of empathy and resilience during the holiday season.